There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
