why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
