i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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