I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
