i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Randomize
