garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
