Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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