i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
