I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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