Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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