JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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