also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
