i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize