She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
