That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
