he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
