the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
