Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
