I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
