it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
