I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
