so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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