Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
