so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
