I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
