we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Randomize
