I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
