Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
