You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
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