i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
