I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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