so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
