Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
