friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
