I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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