...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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