I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
