I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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