I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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