Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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