i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
