How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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