Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
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