Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
