she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
