Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
