You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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