before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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