i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
my nose is crying tears of wow.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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