Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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