Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
