How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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