I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I believe in your delicious
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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