I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
