she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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