Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
