Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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