Can i not drive my cunt home
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
birth control should be required to get into college
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
