Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
