this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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