I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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