All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
do nipples grow back?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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