I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
