i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
