I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
