Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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