i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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