My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
