Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You're so nebulous sometimes
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
